Ep 59 Writer and Hope Dealer Shannon Robinson

Shannon Robinson was a wife and a stay at home mom until her husband suddenly passed away in March of 2018, leaving her with a three year old, a two year old and 38 weeks pregnant with her third child. 

Now three and a half years later, she is a busy single mom of three rambunctious kiddos. She's a part-time realtor and a full-time Director of Outreach at her home church.

Shannon loves to speak and write about her journey of  faith and loss and provide hope and encouragement to others going through valleys in life. 

"One of the best things I think you can do is almost take your focus and make it outward instead of inward, even when you're in a season of pain. If you're looking for opportunities to brighten someone else's day, it makes your load go a lot lighter." ~Shannon Robinson

CONNECT WITH SHANNON:

• www.beautyandashes.com
• IG: Shannon_Robinson_85
• fb: My Beauty and Ashes
• info@beautyandashes.com

CONNECT WITH MANDY:

• mandysawyer.com
• insta @mandycreativevision 
• facebook @mandyscreativevision
• Mandy's Vision Gig fb group

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast 
• Shine with Frannie Podcast
• Garden of Favor
• Shall Not Want Maverick City Music

Kitcaster Podcast Agency 
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Transcript

Mandy:

Hey everybody, I am so excited to have my guest with me today. Her name is Shannon Robinson. She was a wife and a stay at home mom until her husband suddenly passed away in March of 2018, leaving her with a three year old, a two year old and 38 weeks pregnant with her third child. Now three and a half years later, she is a busy single mom of three rambunctious kiddos, now seven, six and three. She's a part-time realtor and a full-time Director of Outreach at her home church, which is Capitol Hill Assembly of God. Shannon loves to speak and write about her journey of faith through loss and provide hope and encouragement to others going through valleys in life. Shannon, thank you so much for taking the time to be with me today. How are you doing? 

Shannon:

I'm so good. Thanks for having me today. 

Mandy:

You're welcome. It's an honor. Let's just dive in and just kind of talk about the obstacle that you are overcoming still, I'm sure walking through this life now without your husband, can you kind of talk about that a little bit? 

Shannon:

Yeah, it's just such a journey. So different now in the fourth year than it was in the first year, in the second year. We've gone through a lot of phases in the grief journey. Right now, I feel like my biggest obstacle is just still trying to stay hopeful and dealing with a kind of loneliness. And, yeah, got a lot of therapy and work to deal with the grief itself and the loss itself and the trauma from the loss. It's not so much that I'm stuck in grief anymore. I feel like my grief is really resolved. It's just that dealing with the after-effects of being a single mom of three kids is, it's probably my biggest struggle right now. So yeah, that's just a daily battle, a weekly battle, just try to keep me encouraged and keep on the grind to keep making it. 

Mandy:

Right. Okay, talk a little bit about how has that been for the kids? I mean, being so young, whenever they've lost their dad, and then one who doesn't even get to meet his dad, how are you navigating that as a mom trying to help your kiddos through that? 

Shannon:

Yeah, that is very challenging. It’s own kind of grief in itself, there's dealing with, like the loss of my husband, and then there was dealing with the loss of my kids’ father, and I have my feelings about it. Then I have to help them navigate their feelings about it, which have evolved a lot. Because I mean, as any mom knows, the leaps they go through developmentally, between two and a half, which was the age of my daughter, when my husband had passed away to where she is now turning six this month is just such night and day different. We've had their grief process that lost at different stages of their development and their understanding. My son was almost four when Chad passed away.  He's very smart. So very intellectual, I guess. Maybe, it was easier for him to process what had happened, because he had a little bit better cognitive ability at that time to even understand, but Lily, my daughter, that was two and a half, you know, she didn't even know to have words for her own feelings yet. Then she was having these extreme feelings. And we've gone through seasons of extreme sadness of rage, even, I mean, anger. There was a period of time where she blamed me for his death, you know, and it's something you can't internalize as a parent because you know that they don't have the big picture to understand what's happened. They're just feeling such intense feelings, and they're trying to make sense of the feelings they have. So parenting kids through losses, it's hard, you have to have thick skin, because you can't internalize their feelings that they project on you. We've used some good resources, we have a grief counseling center here for families in Oklahoma City that we use. And then there are some really great books out there that kind of help them name their feelings and just give words to the whole event, the whole process, like getting comfortable saying the word death and guide, putting it together and being able to say my dad died. I mean, that sounds so simple to an adult, but it's really powerful. If you can't, you have to teach your kids to express because there'll be they'll tell you that depression is exactly what it sounds like. It's a depressed feeling. They take a feeling and they bury it, bury it, bury it and eventually become very sad and overwhelmed by your sadness because you've never dealt with it. So as someone that has been in therapy before, even before my husband died, I'm just really adamant about we're going to talk about this until we're comfortable talking about it, and then we're going to keep talking about it because I'm not going to create an environment where they don't feel they don't process it. I don't want them to end up, damaged emotionally for the rest of their life. And I've tried really hard to emulate that. You know, if I'm sad about Chad, I've said, No, I'm really sorry. I'm just having a bad day. I really miss your dad. Yeah, teaching them because they will imitate what you do. If you hide new stuff, they're gonna do the same thing. But if you create an environment of freedom, for ease, you show them that it's okay to have a bad day, even four years later, and we'll talk about it. And we'll get through it together as a family. I feel like they're doing really well because of that. 

Mandy:

That's so good. That is so good that you're so in tune with that being so necessary for you to help them process and help them find the words that they need to use to explain their emotions. That's very intuitive. As a mom, I guess that's I'm not a mom, but I was a teacher of a bazillion kids and things like that. So, I just I admire that about you, that you even through your own grief, were able to acknowledge the fact that I have to make sure that they know how to process this and that they and that we do this together. I applaud you for that very much. What is something else that you do daily, that helps you to heal daily? 

Shannon:

Well, I'm a person of faith, especially this far out like daily, I mean, I'm, I read my Bible, and I read devotionals and I listen to a lot of worship music. I mean, with three kids, I don't have time and hours to sit in prayer, like meditation, my house isn't really quiet enough for me to enjoy that anyway. So, when I say read my Bible, it literally might be like, I'm gonna read the verse of the day on youversion. And sometimes, that's all I've got. But I just have faith that okay, Lord, that's all it's all I got, I've given you something, you're going to multiply it, turn it into something else. So that I try to keep a constant connection with my faith because I feel like that's what keeps me grounded on a daily basis, and especially like music. I've noticed that we know that music is powerful. But I really love country music, and that I've noticed when I listened to it, it almost makes me sad afterward because it's all these great love songs. When you're feeling it, you're like, oh, great. This is what I want. And then 10 minutes later, I'm like, but I don't have it. I don't know if I'll ever have it again. Then, I start feeling really down. So, I really just tried to focus on just really worship music and keeping my mind focused on my faith, and what I'm thankful for that I have right now today, and where I'm at today, and then just trusting God with the future. 

Mandy:

Yeah, absolutely. I love that. So what advice do you give to somebody that's maybe has a grieving friend or family member, and they don't really know what to do? Or what to say to be helpful? What kind of advice can you give to them? 

Shannon:

Oh, man, that could be a whole podcast in itself. 

Mandy:

Yeah, I think so too. 

Shannon:

It's a big topic. It's so specific to the person that's grieving because some people are very expressive, and some people are very drawn in. And I would say that I get asked this question a lot because it's just wild how that in the three and a half years since Chad died, I've had so many other people approach me and say, Oh, my gosh, my friend's husband died, what can I do to help her. I always kind of go back to the same thing, which is just there, like, just show up. One of my friends was like, well, we're gonna buy this basket of cleaning supplies and bring it to her. I'm like, she got to clean her house, and the basket is gonna sit there. First of all, don't create busyness for someone because busyness is a distraction from processing their grief. And especially in the early months, as hard as painful as it is, that person needs to sit there with those feelings, and think them out and feel them out because if you don't, it prolongs the grieving process. I think one of the most powerful things, one of my friends did right after Chad died, I was 38 weeks pregnant, I had this whole long week of being pregnant, and then we have the funeral. Then three days later, I had a baby, I was sitting at home with a baby for weeks, I'd had a C-section and can barely move. I was just physically hurt from grief, and from the C-section, and I couldn't do a lot. But one of my friends came over and she just sat with me in my living room, and she played with my kids and fed them dinner. And that was really helpful, too. But then, the last hour she really sat with me in the living room. She didn't say much of anything. She just listened to me cry and reminisce about this person that I loved more than anyone in the world that was gone. The whole range of feelings I had about that at that moment in time, whether it was memories if it was stories, I mean, it didn't matter. She didn't give me any advice. There's no advice you can give them. 

Mandy:

No, there isn't. 

Shannon:

Yeah. To take pressure off of people, a lot of people will say really dumb things in the middle because they're trying to offer advice. 

Mandy:

I don't mean to but 

Shannon:

Yeah, they're trying to offer some encouragement, but what they need to realize is you don't want to be encouraged. You just want someone to feel your pain and for someone just to sit there next to me and cry tears of sadness with me because she felt my pain meant more to me than any of the other physical things people did right after he died. So, I would say just be there and, and be there consistently. There's a kind of this phenomenon after the loss that happens where there's all this emotion because people are emotionally attached to the story and they're invested in it. Then the funeral happens, everyone else kind of goes back to their normal way. 

Mandy:

Right. 

Shannon:

And that's right about the time your shock starts to wear off. Then you're like, oh, I really need someone, and everybody's kind of checked back to there. 

Mandy:

Yeah, they're back to their regular routine. 

Shannon:

Be there consistently in the weeks and the months after the funeral. I mean I would say grief gets really hard around month three. When everything's going back to normal for everybody else, and you are really just starting to figure out what life without that person looks like because you've been very emotionally shielded by shock up into that point. It's doing the things having to do the normal life, and really realizing where that person's absence is now that hurts so bad, and months, like three through nine. So even like, maybe set a reminder in your phone three months later, and say, I'm gonna text this person today and see how she's doing. She's way more less likely to reach out at that point than she was in the early weeks after the death. 

Mandy:

Right. Yeah, I agree with all that. When we lost my dad, there were so many things that people said. Well, meaningly,  there were well-meaning things, but I just wanted to punch him in the face because they didn't understand. So yes, the time I try whenever I know that somebody has lost someone I try to, I may not reach out to them immediately. But I know that time frame where everybody else has gone that nobody else is checking on them. That's whenever I kind of try to swoop in and check on them and see how they're doing because I know what just exactly what you're talking about. And now we have to figure out what the new normal is and how to function without that person in your life. That's when you really need people to be supportive, to be praying, and to be there for you to listen. Yeah, I agree with everything you just said. It's so important. Yeah, don't say stupid stuff. Y'all don't say stuff like, oh, he wouldn't want you to be sad. Or don't say stuff. Like, you'll be fine. Everything's gonna be great. You know,  you can make it. 

Shannon:

I think one of my biggest pet peeves is when people come in and they say you've got this because you've got this is like a pep talk you give to someone before they go out to play a basketball game. It's a pep talk you give someone before they go take a test they've studied for like, you've got this is not the pep talk you give someone whose world literally just got destroyed.

Mandy:

Right. It's like, I don't freakin’ got this. No. 

Shannon:

They don't have it. There's no amount of telling them they do that will make it any easier and going through loss, especially my loss, It was an integral part of my family, right? I mean, I had to re-learn everything about how I existed with my kids and how I function, and the decisions I made. That was not a “you got this” scenario. I mean, in the middle of it, I didn't really have time to really think about those. Now that I'm post so far posts, it's not I can kind of look at it through a different lens. And go yeah, that's not really the best thing to say someone, especially another one was, I think it was about two weeks after Chad had died. I was just having a really hard day. Someone said obviously, I had a hard day. I just had a baby six days, right? Someone was like, I was worried about like, I'm gonna raise these kids by myself. How am I gonna do this? And this person said, well you're young, you can get re-married. 

Mandy:

Oh, my God!  Two weeks after? 

Shannon:

At the time, I was so shocked. I was just in shock. It just kind of went right through my head. But then, once later, I was like, did she really just say that to me days after my husband died? Like it's okay. You can get re-married. I know they meant it well, and it was chatter, but I think in dude, he's fairly cold and you're already thinking about getting remarried. Really? 

Mandy:

You need to figure out what just happened in my life. 

Shannon:

Yeah. So, don't offer advice to people that are new Grievers? 

Mandy:

No, no, no, no, no, don't do it. Don't do it. Well, let's talk about your blog, Beauty and Ashes. How did that come about? And what does that do for you? 

Shannon:

You know, I've always felt like I was a writer even as a kid. I remember sitting in like third grade English class, and I couldn't figure out why all my friends were confused about commas, semi-colons, and grammar.

Mandy:

I’m just speaking my language there, English teacher over here.

Shannon:

Yeah, I was like, why are you guys having a problem with this? So, it's always been my thing writing. I mean, my friends in high school would always say help me write this paper. So, just felt like it was God who made me a writer. In 2017, Chad and I went through a really hard year financially. I kind of started writing the process. And I was like, you know, I'm just gonna make a blog. It's something I've always wanted to do. So I did. I started a blog it’s “Beauty and Ashes”. It was just kind of supposed to be an inspirational blog about hardship in life and kind of finding a different perspective, try to find the silver lining, and talk about things. But then we leave someone with an element of hope at the end whether that was through faith or just through life in general. It's so ironic that you know, a year later, earlier or later after I started the blog, Chad died. I just felt like writing was the best way for me to process that. It's my most powerful communicator tool. So, I just started writing about my experience of grief. Sometimes it would be about triggers. Other times it’s milestone anniversary days, just stuff like that. I feel I kind of did the same thing, try to find an element of hope at the end, even though it was raw and real. A lot of friends followed it. At one point, I had about 500 subscribers, which I was really proud of. And then I still let my hosting expire during 2020 last year and lost all of them. 

Mandy:

What? Say that again. 

Shannon:

I said, I accidentally let my hosting expire.

Mandy:

Oh no!

Shannon:

During 2020, because I was out of my routine. I was being stuck at home and didn't finish the email. Then I found out I went to go write a blog and my site was gone. I lost all my subscribers. It was so heartbreaking. But I rebuilt it all, all the posts are back up there and still kind of rebuilding my following. 

Mandy:

So you didn't lose your content? You were able to get your content back up there. 

Shannon:

Yeah. The only reason I was able to do that is because I had my posts auto emailed to my subscriber list, which I was on. So I went back through my emails and got every one of them off my own email, and rebuilt the whole site. So, that was kind of heartbreaking. But a good lesson and keeping up with important to you. It's just a tool I used to process and now I feel like it kind of gives me a way to help teach people about grief too. That's kind of what I want to turn it into is maybe like, an eye-opening window for people to understand what's going on in the world of a griever, even four years later. And, you know, grief, there's this quote I heard that says “Grief isn't a day, grief is the calendar”. There are different days on the calendar, which means different things, and they will forever. My daughter’s, sixth birthday is coming up. Every time my kid passes another growth milestone, I'm like, wow, your dad's not here for you. You should be, and that causes me to re-process that at a different age than they did last year. So yeah, that's just stuff like that I write about. 

Mandy:

Right. Yes, but I bet it's very helpful to other people that are grieving because then they're like, Oh, my gosh, finally somebody gets me. Finally, somebody gets to go through those scenarios of what's happening. This is, this is how I felt. They're like, yes I can relate to that. So, I think it's awesome that you're using that talent, using that gift that God gave you to write and a beacon of hope for other people. 

Shannon:

Thanks.

Mandy:

So, who or what motivates and inspires you? I imagine your kids do. 

Shannon:

They do because they are so resilient. They’re little warriors. They don't even realize what they've overcome yet. Yeah, three and a half years, they inspire me to be a stronger, better mom for them. And just show them that despite what the world throws at you, It's still your choice. Whether you get up the next day, and you push forward or Yeah, or you give up and you don't. With everything we've been through, like, I don't think the world would fault me if I just said I'm done. 

Mandy:

Yeah, exactly. We'd all be like, Yeah, I don't blame her. 

Shannon:

Check me into the place cuz I'm done. And not saying there are no days, I haven't considered it. But then at the end of the day, when I see their little sleeping faces, I think like we made it, we made it one more day. They inspire me a lot. I've come across some other women. It's just so wild how God brings people across your path that you needed to hear from. Other women that have lost their husbands when they had young kids and now I saw where they are today and I think if God did that for them, God's gonna bring me through this too. And just there's so much inspiration and sharing your story, your success and just living your success and just continuous. I think that inspires me and then obviously like my faith, because like I said before, just keeping that hope of God who gives goodness for me in this life. One of my favorite verses is in Psalms 27:13 and 14. And it says, “I would have despaired if I hadn't believed that I would see the goodness of God and the land of the living”. And you know, that says, God saw his goodness for me in this life, like, Yes, we have hope in eternity. But the goodness of God in the land of the living, like, he still has good things planned for me now and in the future and on the days where I feel the most beat down. That's probably the words I come to the most in that verse, “Wait on the Lord, you know, don't give up and wait onward”. And that's what I have to keep telling myself. Okay, we made it one more day. I don't know about tomorrow, but I'm gonna go to bed tonight and believe that I'm gonna have the joy award in the morning. Those are probably my things, my kids, people that have made it through this type of gratitude. 

Mandy:

It's very interesting because whenever our mutual friend told me about you, I had also met this other lady at a birthday party, friend's birthday party. And I had connected with a lady that has a coworking business. She's got a coworking space. All three of you had also lost their husbands. Now they're more years ahead. But I thought I found it super interesting that all of a sudden, I would meet three women in this small amount of time, who all had very similar situations, similar stories, and I could get them all on my podcast. Well, they're not published yet. There'll be published before yours has already interviewed them. But I want so badly for you guys to listen to each other's stories whenever they are published because I think it'll be really encouraging to all of you. So, and that's kind of what this podcast is all about. Like, that's why I started it. I want people to be encouraged. I want people to be inspired, to do great things, and to do the things that God wants them to do that he's got a purpose for them whether it's a business or whether it's just life in general. I'm so happy that you agreed to come on here and share your story because that's what it's all about. Just like your blog, “Beauty and Ashes”, your voice to the people to like, get that beacon of hope. I'm hoping that that's what this podcast is doing for other people that are listening. So, tell me what makes you laugh your ass off?

Shannon:

Oh, man, I have like two friends that it used to be Chad. Then when Chad passed, I was like, man, I have to have someone else I can send like slightly inappropriate memes to, to friends, and I won't name them. So, we don't all get in trouble. Right after but we send memes to each other and just everything snarky you can find on the internet. And it's great just to have someone laugh with you about it. Then we also really love Schitt's Creek, and we watch news about it to each other too. It's probably been like, my best, just totally zoned out show to watch since friends in the early 2000s because you don't have to be emotionally invested. It's just ridiculously funny. You get to laugh at the depravity of family that you don't really have any empathy for because they were so well. It's just great. I think. I think the writing is brilliant. I mean, it's probably been my favorite thing to just sit at home and watch when my kids are in bed and just totally zoned out. 

Mandy:

I'll have to look at it. I know other people that have mentioned it to me and like you need to try to watch it. I'm like, okay, but I haven't done it yet. So, maybe I will. Do you like to travel? 

Shannon:

I do. I love to travel. I haven't got to travel and quite a few years because when I got married, I was pregnant four times in five years. I was perpetually pregnant or having a baby and we didn't go very many places. But before I got married, I used to travel a lot. I did a study abroad in Italy when I was in college, which was 

Mandy:

Oh, wow, how fun. 

Shannon:

Yeah, it was amazing. I've been to Mexico two or three times to scuba dive or three times actually. I've been on a cruise, a couple of places in the US. I'm more like an international traveler because I just like to experience other cultures and I feel like it gives you such a broad, better worldview. You know, you're not so ethnocentric if you can just expand your horizons a little bit and see how different you are in the world. When I was in Italy, I had a really unique experience because you know, when you're there past like two weeks, the whole vacation mindset kind of wears off and you're like, oh, I live here. People treat you differently there. We were in this little town and tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. It was not a tourist destination. So, people there were like, why are you here? They were kind of really racist toward us. 

Mandy:

Wow. 

Shannon:

Hail! I don't look Italian even though I technically am. My mom's family's Italian but I don't look it I look more like the Irish side. And so I set out like a sore thumb being so hail. You don't speak Italian they don't care to try to communicate with you. I had this experience in a clothing store where, you know, those seen in “Pretty Woman” where they don't want her shop. 

Mandy:

Yeah.

Shannon:

Okay, we were in this clothing store and hereto, this lady was following me around. And anytime I touched anything she would like, immediately fold it and put it back like it was like she acted like I had a disease because I was American, or I was gonna steal something I don't really know. But at one point, I picked up a shirt to look at it on the hanger. And she told me to put it back. I was like, oh my gosh, this lady literally doesn't like me for the sole purpose that I'm an American. It was something I'd never experienced before. It gave me a lot cause they don't treat you like that in touristy places because they want you to buy their stuff. This was like a small village of 100,000 people kind of like the size of Moore, Oklahoma, where I live in very like community knit, and you are not part of the community and they let you know. 

Mandy:

They're outsiders. Hmm, 

Shannon:

Yeah. I think it was a good experience, though, just to kind of make you realize, like, Wow, you are not the center of the world. And you're making a bubble. People think of you a lot differently outside of the US and you realize so, I love to travel even with that experience. I still walked away from it going like, what did I learn from this? That's just kind of how I'm wired. 

Mandy:

How long are you there at all? When were you there for a whole school year?

Shannon:

I was there all summer. So, I was there for eight weeks? 

Mandy:

Okay. 

Shannon:

Yeah, it was kind of like, 

Mandy:

Did you get any kind of immersion for the language, were you able to walk away with at least some phrases and stuff or starting to think in Italian or anything like that? 

Shannon:

I had done some like Rosetta Stone Italian before I went. And that helped a little bit like very basic phrases. I would say by the time I left, I could very roughly understand more what people were saying to me if they said it slow enough, more than I could say it back to them. So, I wasn't immersed to the point that I could have a conversation with anyone in Italian by any means. But if they said, you know, if I said Where's the bathroom because they're not like public bathrooms. You have to find them hidden in buildings. And anyway, they're like, if they said go up the street, take a right and there's this building with the green sign, I could have kind of vaguely understood what they were saying enough to find it. More like that. And then I don't remember any of it now. It's been 10 years. 

Mandy:

Oh, well, how fun! What's your favorite place to go? 

Shannon:

I would say, oh, man. I'm all about the Destin area in Florida. 

Mandy:

Oh, I do want to go there I am. Everybody’s said it’s beautiful. I definitely want to go. 

Shannon:

It's amazing. I took my kids the summer Chad died after he died. We went for a vacation and I kind of splurged and rented this beach house. My whole family went. The beaches are just, it's like white sugar. It's so beautiful. Then I went last year just for a weekend trip with one of my girlfriends, and she has three kids too. So we took kind of like a little mommy vacation. It was like the best trip of my life. We just laid on a beach and enjoyed the waves crashing and laughing at everything in the world. 

Mandy:

Nice. 

Shannon:

So if I could go anywhere tomorrow, I'd probably go there. But what were you gonna say? 

Mandy:

Are there certain parts of Destin that are less touristy or a little bit more secluded where they're not gazillion people on the beach at the same time? 

Shannon:

There's really like all this beach between Fort Walton Destin all the way down to Panama City, which is about an hour apart from each other. There's this historic highway called 38 that goes right along the coastline. And there are all these little bitty towns along 38 and people say all them. So, it's all touristy but the talons at 38 are smaller. They have their own little private beaches. It's not like what you see on pictures of Miami or like, right Daytona or something like that. Even last year, we went to the city of Destin and state. We went to their public beach there Miramar. It was crowded, with the beaches so big. It wasn't like you didn't want to be there. I would stay anywhere. The first time we went, we stayed in Seagrove. And it's kind of between right between Destin and Panama City. It was beautiful. The waters not it wasn't as clear that year but it was still so so nice. Last year when we went to Miramar, I was like this is amazing. I just want to move here And wouldn't it be okay to be broke on the beach as long as you're on the beach? 

Mandy:

Sure. I mean, I think like, it'd be totally fine. Like, who cares who needs money anyway? 

Shannon:

Right.

Mandy:

What are your favorite books or podcasts? 

Shannon:

I love the Craig Groeschel leadership podcast. 

Mandy:

Me too. 

Shannon:

I listened to it a lot for work and I had for years even before I worked at a church, but just such powerful insight, and actually went to a global leadership summit last week that he's in charge of now and got to hear him speak and like 16 other leaders. I'm all about leadership style says, I want to be the best leader I can be. I also like I have this friend, her name's Heather Burns, and she has a podcast called “Garden a Favor.” It's a Christian focus for, like women in business, but it's so inspirational, in general. She's just one of the most positive people I've ever met. Like, you can't listen to her and not smile. 

Mandy:

Oh, well. 

Shannon:

Then I've met another girl through her mentoring program. Her name is Brandy Volts. And she has a podcast called “Shine with Frannie”. And she's the same way. She's like sunshine times 10. I mean, she is just so bright. And I mean, every time you listen to her, you're, yes, I can win it. Like I could do it. And she's really “Yes”. She's really just a real person. You know, she's not fake at all. But she'll talk about her struggles and, but she just has such a positive spin on everything. So, I really love them. I haven't really had the privilege of reading much in recent years just because one, my brain is tired. It's easier to listen than it is to read. And I'll try to read at night and then I'll get like two pages in and fall asleep. 

Mandy:

So fall asleep. 

Shannon:

I like podcasts. I've used to read a lot, but I haven't in recent years. 

Mandy:

Yeah, well, that makes sense. What about audible? Like, do you listen, listen to books on Audible or anything? 

Shannon:

I can't figure out why audible is hard for me because I can do the podcast. But for some reason listening to someone read a book just totally sends me out and I don't really absorb it. 

Mandy:

I think it depends on the book. And it depends on who's reading it because some I've listened to but if I like when I was teaching like there was The Outsiders, I used to love to teach that book, but to listen to somebody else read it, and not me read it. I couldn't stand it drove me nuts. I'm like, No, it's too slow. It's not. You're not doing it right because basically what I kept thinking is you're not doing it right. So yeah, I get that. It's like, it just depends on the book, and it's gonna be longer. A book is gonna be longer to listen to than on a podcast anyway. So like, I've listened to some on Audible, but like, it's every time I get in the car, do another chapter or so or whatever. But so anyway, what's your go-to beverage? 

Shannon:

Oh, I drink liqueur. I’m addicted to it. My sister makes fun of me, ‘you’re the only person I know that willingly drinks liqueur without vodka’.

Mandy:

We do that because we drink it and we drink other water like that, carbonated water like that because it helps me to not drink pop. It helps me to stay away from, because of the fizziness. You know, it doesn't taste the same by any means. But still, it just helps me I can grab a can out of the fridge before I'll grab a soda or anything. So, what would you like to leave with our listeners today? Any kind of favorite quote or something else that keeps you going besides what you've already listed? 

Shannon:

Favorite quote, it’s a really short quote. I've loved it forever. But and then I'll tell you about the song I really like but okay. And this quote, it's by Eleanor Roosevelt. But she says “Women are like bags of tea, you never know how strong they are until they get in hot water”. And yeah, something I've loved forever just because of that like you really don't know what strength lies within you until you're challenged and you're tested. So that's something I always think about too. Then also realizing, though, that my strength isn't in myself, it's really in the Lord. And you know, when I'm weak is when he's actually the strongest. And just to remind myself that I can be strong, but to really let him be strong for me too. There's that and it which also kind of goes into this element of faith. But like I said, I wasn't a lot of worship music and elevation church dropped an album earlier this year with Maverick City Music, and they have this song on there that's written around the 23rd song. It's called “Shall not Want” just kind of the theme of that song. it's just really powerful. I heard it a couple of months ago, and I've kind of been stuck on it since then. But there's this tag at the end that says I have everything I need your goodness and your mercy is following me. And he just says it over and over and over. And by the time you're done listening to it. You believe it. Your life I have everything I need. God's got God's goodness, and His mercy is everything I need. it's just been so powerful for me. So look it up if you haven't heard it before, Maverick City Music “Shall not Want”. 

Mandy:

That's a great affirmation to say to yourself every day, all day long. That's awesome. Is there anything else that you would like to talk about? or chat about or anything else that you want to tell the people that are listening? 

Shannon:

Well, thanks for listening to my story. 

Mandy:

Yeah, 

Shannon:

I hope someone was encouraged by it. And just know that even if you feel alone, there are people out there that have gone through something similar. And I really feel like, if your eyes are open, and God will bring him across your path for a reason. And it's just like I said, I'm always kind of blown away by how many people God's brought me that had encouraged me, and then how many people that's been brought before me that I've been able to encourage with such similar situations. One of the best things I think you can do is almost take your focus and make it outward instead of inward even when you're in a season of pain. If you're looking for opportunities to brighten someone else's day, it makes your load go a lot lighter. 

Mandy:

Yes. That's true. That's true. Yeah, if you think about trying to help somebody else, your stuff doesn't seem so daunting. So is there any, where can people get ahold of you? Where can they connect with you? 

Shannon:

They can connect with me on my Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shannon_robinson_85/

or my website, where my blog is it's just https://www.beautyandashes.com/.  I'm on Facebook, https://www.facebook.com/shannon.manek. I also have a Beauty and Ashes page on Facebook, https://www.facebook.com/MyBeautyandAshes/ too. So, the brightening all matches in my blog. So it's kind of easy to find. 

Mandy:

Okay, great. And we'll put up all that in the show notes too.  Awesome. Well, Shannon, thank you so much for spending time with me today. I really appreciate you and I really appreciate your story. And I know it's gonna keep touching people's lives and keep helping other moms, be strong and walk through even some of the darkest days. So I appreciate you. Thank you so much. 

Shannon:

Thank you.